It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize