Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Im part way to drunk.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
