i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
