It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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