OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
