Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
