Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Do vagina's smell?
ugly people sure do ruin things
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
