Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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