Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
