I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We don't watch enough power rangers
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
