I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
