Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
