There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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