Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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