So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
