I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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