I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
