in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
