I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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