Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
