It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
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He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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