I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
