Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Shame is for Republicans.
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