Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
