Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
