I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
