She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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