i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
