Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
