She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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