Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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