we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
