no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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