is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
youre lurking in front of me
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
