We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
