My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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