so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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