you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
