What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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