my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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