i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
