Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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