I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
