so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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