And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
