I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
