i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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