So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
