idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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