In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
is it fun? or sober?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
