How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
