she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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