i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
