worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
