God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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