I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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