Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
