Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
