I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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