im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
