Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
