break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
