dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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