honey bunches of taint.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
