he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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